a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
