Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
