Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
