we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
