I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
