In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
