It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
