did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
