Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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