He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
