4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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