I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
