I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
