i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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