You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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