Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
God I need to hump something, right now.
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