I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
