mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
