I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
