i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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