You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize