My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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