best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The uberlube is also flammable
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
