Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
