When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
