i think my tv is drunk
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
MIDGETS
????
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
