FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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