To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
