I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
