Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
