Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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