He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
