I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
