So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
