Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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