I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
