just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
