woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
