i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
