thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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