Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
