Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
