belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm at about main and main street
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
