I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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