she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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