The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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