i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
