Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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