I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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