question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
