plz talk dirty to me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
