Someone shit on the floor
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
