Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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