Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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