Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
