My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
