Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
