I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize