I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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