I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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